The victim of (recycled) Telugu movies

Once upon a time as a kid just watching my favorite actors on screen was enough to make me feel good about a movie. Now, whether the movie had a story or not it didn't matter much back then. But as I was growing up I started watching international movies, thanks to english subtitles. At this juncture, user ratings, word of mouth reviews mattered a lot to me if I had to watch a movie. Sometimes these resources don't help you and you want to break those heads of your friends who have suggested to watch that movie. 

Appreciably, Tamil and Malayalam movie industries are making few good movies every year. Whereas, Hindi and Telugu movie industries are ridiculously recycling the same storylines again and again. Of course, here and there, now and then, we do get to watch few good movies, because of the new story writers and directors. 

Anyway, I'm here to review two Telugu movies which were supposedly most awaited movies of 2014, Aagadu and Govindhudu Andarivadu. Both movies had big names in the cast, so the expectations were sky high. 

At any given day, anyone would want to go to premiere show of Prince Mahesh Babu's movies, and I became a victim of this temptation. So here we go... movie starts, the hero makes the entry as a super cop with two-minute senseless punch dialogues which are funny of course. this two-minute scene was the first trailer for the movie and the only trailer which pulls you into the theater to watch this movie expecting the same kind of entertainment for full 120 minutes. Sigh.., everything blows off on your face after that scene. The hero intro song choreography was recycled from "Dookudu" and "Gabbar Singh". I did try not to compare with those movies. but I failed terribly in that. Then comes our heroine whose character is a copy-paste from "Gabbar Singh" and "Dabangg". Well, yeah, Gabbar Singh is Dabangg's remake. And therefore, the first half is half-boiled "Gabbar Singh" and "Dabangg". The first half is done. Second half starts, and I doze off. On our way back home I learned from friends that the second half is another half boil of "Dookudu". 

Now, let's postmortem GAV. First of all, I hate Ram Charan because he doesn't know acting, I hate his ridiculous face and his chimpanzee lips, and he carries a laugh which makes you wonder whether he is a man or a woman. Anyway, coming into the story. the whole story is about Prakash Raj and his son. His son ditches him to get a life in the US rather than die in the hospital which his dad builds for him so that he can provide service to the local village people and how Ram Charan unites his dad and dad's dad. The director comfortably picks the backdrop of Murari, one of his blockbuster movies. So again, I couldn't help compare this movie with Murari, Ram Charan's character is similar to Mahesh Babu's in Murari and Kajal's character is similar to Sonali Bendre's and the other supporting characters are more or less similar to the characters of Murari. But then there is one thing you will notice the total strength of this family is less compared to that of Murari.

Coming to the ridiculous things which I observed in the movie are:

•  the hospital which was built by Prakash Raj was constructed in 1952, this can be clearly seen on top of the building. So let's say, his son would be around 25 years then, right? 
• This is the year when his son becomes a doctor. so he must have done MBBS, so he should be about 27 years. 
• The same year his son ditches and moves to the US, but he settles in the UK (did he had immigration issues? he didn't get US visa? why did he end up in the UK? why?). 
• Now, Ram Charan comes to know about his grandfather, relatives and decides to reunite with them. He lands in India with iPad, Android phone, and many more other things. Seeing these gadgets in his kitty we can assume the year would be around 2010 since iPad was launched in 2010. 
• So what should be the Ram Charan's age now? 25 and not married? or 55 years with 4 grandchildren? Since he is shown as a 25-year-old guy, then he must be werewolf!!
• Prakash Raj must have been 45 years considering he got married when was a teenager (aka child marriage) when he builds the hospital, so his age should be 100 years. But he dances, fights, sprints and what not, you will end asking who is the hero here? Prakash Raj or Ram Charan? 
• Kajal has put on a lot of weight. Ram Charan looks like a kiddo in front of her. 

And that's it, I don't have anything to write up as the story is same what you see in regular family Sagas just the hospital is different. I would suggest watching Murari again instead of going to this movie. Ram Charan's acting hasn't improved and I don't think it will improve ever. 

Finally, yesterday I saw a small snippet of Ram Charan's interview where he says "These were the kind of reactions I wanted when I signed the movie". (Seriously??? I hope he reads my reactions to reconsider)

I hate "these" gals

Everyday when I log into facebook, most of the updates I see are the new photos uploaded by gals. Of course boys also do, but the number of photos uploaded is surpassed by gals. Oh Lord! tell these gals that they are not Miss World or Miss Universe and spare us from seeing those idiotic photos. There are always these jobless asses who go comment and click 'like' button to ugliest photos. There is always a limit for everything. I don't mind if a really gorgeous looking gal updates her profile pic, I will stare that pic all day long and show it to my fella profile stalking idiots.

And those status messages, good Lord! there are the most irritating in the world. Especially, those folks who land in the UK, US countries and post next day on their walls, "Oh my God (Gosh! or whatever) it is 0 degree C here"; There are always those outdated mahajans who post the videos or articles which are known to everyone and have become history. Finally, the ones who aren't creative do some googling and post those poetic  and philosophical nonsense lines.

But then, after venting out my frustration now I realise that these are the people who give me chance to laugh at them daily ;)

Everyone loves me!

You all know me, and love me. You all will do anything for me, so basically I'm being loved more than your girlfriends and boyfriends, wives and husbands. I'm so dear to you people that you hold me between your lips, some soft and some cracked, clutch me tight with your hands, this love shows how hygiene am I...

Anyways, my most favorite outing would be in strip clubs, Well, then I get to travel all over the world without any visa or passport, thanks to you guys for taking me along with you. I think everything is directly or indirectly related to me, it might be good and also bad.

Bottom-line: "Everyone loves me and wants me" (single finger to those who hate me and five fingers to those who love me!)

By the way my name is Bill, Dollar Bill!!

Youngistaan Ka WOW!

What was the question??, yeah, "If you were the game master, what challenge would you like to throw to Ranbir?

Challenge: He will have to hit a shot of Tequila and stand upside down for a minute!

what's your bra color?

My friend Sai rushed to me day before night and asked, "dude, log into facebook right now." I logged in and waited for him to say what to do next. "Now, check the status mssg of the girls in your friends list." Ok, I did that too then what?? "Ok, now see if any girls status mssg is having a color." First I got confused, color? I thought status mssg will be in color so I casually looked over and said, "NO." As if he looked through my eyes he said, "no dude, status mssg will be a color, like see here her status mssg is blue, now check in your list." I still didn't understand what was he trying with those mssgs, anyways I looked over my list and found five colors and one said none??

I just got up from a good sleep, hardly opened my eyes properly and this ass was asking me to do this stupid job which I wasn't understanding why he wanted me to check. I asked him what's with color thing. "Dude, that's the bra color they are wearing today..." I just opened my mouth so big that with in secs it went dry. I asked him, "why would they do that?", he said, "some breast cancer awareness campaign it seems..." Out of curiosity I asked him with a wink, "what about your chicks, how many odd and even colors in your list?". He said, "black, white, pink and blue... just four dude, what about you?" , I told him black, white, red, blue and and none. The word none made us wink and laugh hard.

Anyways, jokes apart, is this a serious thing or a prank that kicked off like a wildfire. Well, whatever girls revealed the thing which had to be kept secret and yeah, you girls made us boys go drooling and made our eyes to wait for your status mssg.

PS: update for my previous post - "giri missed her bus to colg again..."

Datingsutra

At around one in the night, while I was on phone, I find a book in my room. "Dating fundas for Guys and Girls" by Chaya Srivatsa, at the first sight of it I started laughing thinking who could have bought this book. Anyways, I was bored so thought of checking how different are the fundas from the fundas I learnt all these years.

Well, I'm not gonna discuss each and every fundas given in that book, only the ones which I feel that everyone should know is discussed here...

"Don't let a chilling silence creep in", that sounds perfect isn't it? well, generally at these kinda dating situations you tend to become numb as you donno what to talk and on which topic. Hang on, politics, religion and gender issues shouldn't be a part of your discussion, thank you that will end your so-called date in no time. So, talk crap but talk, movies, food, books, anything except those prohibited topics and don't be rude and also pay attention what the other has to say (courtesy dude...)

"Choose someone who is intellectually compatible", this one is my fav., now I don't wanna spend the evening with a decorative doll with nice make up and lipstick rather than brains!

"Avoid a proxy approach of sending word thru' a common friend", this reminds me of the errands in old movies who gets sandwiched between 'em passing love notes. Be a man dude, say to her whatever comes to your mind, but be cautious on what you gonna say.

"A date is not a counseling couch so don't advise each other", hahhaa... can't stop laughing my ass out. Anyone out there has this experience? [:P]. It's funny man...

"Get your knowledge levels up. Be up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers", this is even funnier, hahaha.... as if this guy/gal is going to an interview rather than to a date. But, you never know, can't take chances you see, this one suits for someone like "beauty with brains" and you don't wanna lose her.

Here comes the interesting topic of the entire book, my the fav. one, "What girls want"

- bring her flowers

- look her in the eyes and smile

- if you're in love with her... tell her

- if you say you're going to call DO IT!

- Don't be JEALOUS (this one is damn important... )

- Be yourself

Those are few which I felt were key ones.

Girls this one is for you, "What guys want from girls"

- Don't expect him to read you mind and keep guessing

- Don't get into arguments over trivial issues

- Don't throw tantrums and act hysterical

That's it, rest are predictable, that we like sports, run away from getting married so on...

Last and very important point, don't be possessive, this will become fatal in your relationships..

it's all blind, isn't it?

Love is Blind

origin

From Shakespeare's The Merchant Of Venice

Jessica: "Here, catch this casket; it is worth the pains.

                I am glad 'tis night, you do not look on me, 

                For I am much ashamed of my exchange:

                But love is blind and lovers cannot see

                The pretty follies that them selves commit;

                For if they could, Cupid himself would blush

                To see me thus transformed to a boy."

So love is blind? Are you serious? Well, I feel it's not the love which is blind, but it is made blind with lust towards the opposite sex. Don't you think so?

Love does overlook the flaws, but is this overlooking act called blind? Ok, we people whenever come across an odd couple like one is ugly other is much better than the former, blah blah ... we say  love is blind indeed and there you see the perfect example showing 'em. But excuse me, accepting someone is really such simple, no, it isn't simple, while accepting someone we tend to feel something special about that person. When your soft corner is touched and taken care of, that's the moment you fall in love with that person.

Anyways, these days love has made progress, it isn't blind anymore. It got operated and now its wearing contact lens for the clear vision. Clear vision means, if she finds her perfect match, next would be if parents don't accept then ditch that dumbo. Not only that, Okay, I love this person will I be taken care for sure? Has enough money? future plans? Job stability? Bullshit?

Boohoo! love has indeed made progress, it isn't blind anymore, whatsay? 

Or may be, love is still blind, it's just we started to open our eyes... [:O]

Chess Titans...

Muhaha!! Computer is such a dumb thing to play with especially a game like chess. I lost first two games because of the complacence and then when I decided to stop the losing spree next game was a draw. Even though I defeated it with only King and Queen left from my side, it said taking the stats this game would be considered a draw... ( a what?? bullshit).

By now I understood the computers strategy and another game started. This time fulltoo concentration not one soldier to be lost. Well, the computers strategy was simple entice into a trap and then attack in the next second making you yell out "shit man! how didn't I notice that."

Anyways computer tried all its tricks on me but had to lose to me finally. I forgot something, I said computer was a dumb, now ask me why, why because when one of my soldiers reached other end I was offered a queen , a bishop, and a knight to choose. Even though my queen was still there I chose queen which I was offered instantly, hahaha... bloody hell!!! and the victory!!!

My sexy wife...

There was this stupid conversation that happened when I was in amazon.com imagining the sexy colleagues as our gonna be wives in the break...

Avinash: duDes, I got a doubt...

Chandu: whats that?

Avinash: Well, will our beautiful wives maintain their fig after the marriage?

kumar: Why wouldn't they?

Chandu: Oh shit, I doubt so Avinash...

Avinash: Oye kumar, make a new medicine so that they maintain their
figs, I don't want Anu to gain weight after marriage...

Kumar: That's not possible dude... side effects are very heavy, so we
shud take care of their diet...

Shankar: there seems to be no prob with madhu, sravs or sangeetha, I
guess its about anu....lol...

Avinash: Yes I'm talking about anu so wat, did u foresee how other
girls will be in future>?? eh??

Kumar: Got an idea... we will make them join gym, and make sure that
they go to gym daily ...

Avinash: Genius says so, but idiot whos gonaa make breakfast ,tea ,
coffee, ..dammit I cant imagine myself struggling in the kitchen....

Kumar: but they are our loved ones bud, so that shudnt be a big deal
helping them in kitchen...

Avinash: you knw wat, all men fear this only, wait till u get married ,
you'll knw....

so when does a girl realise its love?

So after watching Jaane tu for second time this topic popped up. I was searching for perfect paradigms which would show the naked meaning for the words spoke by a boy.

So it's always said that words spoken by women have many untold implications and would never understand them even if the earth comes to an end. Ok, I agree, yea sometimes if not all the time. But what about men then? are they really that straight forward and everyones gets it what they actually meant when they say something?

Well given any situations men are straight forward except for one. And that one situation is when they having a crush or have fallen in love. They start speaking poetically (surprisingly) and blah blah, well, you guys are pretty smart to fill it for yourself.

So now let's examine the things he does when he wants to express his love to a girl.

Scene # 1 , take 1, camera rolling and action!

Let's go into a classroom and see... There's pappu who has a special interest in aditi. Now entire class knows this but aditi and the girls in the class donno this, only boys know this. You may say entire class consists of both girls and boys, yea but it came in a flow so don't have to stress your brain on that. Anyways coming back to the scene... Now after lot of sweating and hard work aditi notices pappu after realizing that pappu is her classmate. So pappu starts talking regularly about aditi with his good-for-nothing gang. This useless gang starts teasing pappu, and comment on aditi whenever and wherever she's seen. Then as the days pass by gang stops teasing and pappu's feelings for her is piling up day by day.

So after sometime pappu and aditi become friends. In the mean time he finds and adds aditi in all the possible virtual social networks found on the Internet. And then Pappu starts flirting saala!... after endless flirting, this flirting thing vanishes and pappu starts taking her damn seriously. His useless gang every time they meet they ask hows aditi and how much did he progress in letting her know his feelings for her. And then pappu decides to win her one day and there he takes off ...

Scene #13, take 6, camera rolling ... action!

So our pappu now trys to get sympathy from aditi saying he doesn't have any girlfriends yet (signal 1),
Aditi: Oh pappu, it's ok, you'll definitely find one....
Pappu: Do you think any girl will fall for me? (signal 2)
Aditi: Y not? (Here aditi smells something is wrong and she bails out from there)

Scene #16,

Pappu writes his first testimonial to aditi in orkut.

Scene #18,

Pappu writes one more saying, he's so lucky to find her ...

Scene #19,

Pappu writes one more, this time he says, donno how it could have been if he didn't had a friend like her... (signal # whatever)

Now aditi, smiles reading all this stuff, saying so good friend I have...

Scene # 50,

This goes on, and they pass out and nothing happens after that...

This is one kind. Well, let's see what would probably happen by adding something to it... Pappu mails her telling about his feelings for her... Aditi replies back... Sorry, but I never ..................... (please do the honours....) We are just friends. Very few cases where pappu might have got a reply saying Love you too...

So pappu is heartbroken now, and the life goes on. The signals in this story, I donno how many could have interpreted what's he trying to tell right away.

Aren't we??

PS: Click on to the image for bigger size...

chocolate...

Tortoise & Hare ....( they are back! )

Hey there! hi to everyone!, how are you guys?? hope you guys have been awesome out there. Anyways, last week one of friends told me a stupid hilarious slap-stick joke which I wanted to share with you guys.

So, we all know the tale of "Tortoise and Hare" in which Tortoise wins the race and hare loses... so this stupid joke is based on it...

So after their schooling, they write engg entrance exam, and both tortoise and hare qualify the the exam, Tortoise scores 75% and hare scores 85%.

Well, they both wanted to get into Computer science stream. On counselling day, hare fails to get a seat and tortoise once again wins out here, he gets the Computer science seat.

Now, can any of you guys guess why hare didn't get the seat and tortoise gets in spite of hare outscoring tortoise???...
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well, tortoise gets the seat through Sport's Quota, hey we know right that tortoise won a race...(dont't cha! ??) ;) .....

Women are sure a mystery??