my daughter - the end

Continued from here...

I checked my watch it's 5pm, Abhi started loading the luggage into the cab. Puri was holding my hand tightly, for the first time I saw her nervous. Bindu was checking her file for one last time. Abhi came back and helped her checking the papers she had to carry with her. All the relatives slowly got up and started getting ready to go to airport.

We started to airport at 5:15pm, Bindu was sitting between puri and me, Abhi in the front. Other people came in other cars. "Bindu, eat nicely and healthy. Be careful with the people you meet and try to call us twice a week, " puri said giving her a telephone contacts book. "You'll find all the numbers of our relatives and also the one's who are in US..."

Airport was still 15 minutes away and I wanted to ask Bindu something, but didn't know how to ask her. "Bindu beta, I'm sorry to ask you this at this time...", "go ahead dad, ask me..."

"Well, I came to know about chetan, " I said that in lower tone. I saw panic in Bindu's face, I took her hand into mine and said, "actually, I didn't want to ask you this and could have waited till you told me about him. But things went out of control when my friend spotted you with this guy at his pub and the way you guys were in each others arms, he called me same day and told me about this. I got chetan's number from your friend mayuri and called him up, he said he has feelings for you but neither of you guys told this to each other. And, he also said that he going to the same school where you are going and he's gonna travel with you today right?..."

"Dad, I'm sorry..." Bindu had tears in her eyes.

"Na na Bindu, don't be, you didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to know how serious are you about chetan. Because this is very tender stage where you don't exactly know your feelings, maintaining a relation is always tough. And, one more thing, I always support you in whatever as long you are sure of it."

"Dad, I like him. But I'm not sure if I love him or not..."

"Hmm, well then don't take much time to think then. Because chetan has high hopes on you, before its too late come to a decision and let him know. I don't want you to get disturbed with this mental tension of relationships, and don't worry I'm always there to help you out. I'm telling you all this because I and your mom had similar problem before we could commit to each other back then and I don't want my sweetheart to face similar problem..."

"I love you dad..."

"love you too beta.."

Puri had a stun expression while we both were talking this, but then she smiled at the end.

Finally we reached airport and then after few mins Bindu checked in, before leaving she whispered in my ears giving a peck, " it's a very difficult job to be a good dad...". I whispered back, " I know and thanks for understanding..."




----the end---

quarter century

I'm 25 years, can't believe myself and other friends of mine you think I might be 23 or 24 now (hehe...) well, I guess I saw world complete 360 degrees. Now people might say it's nothing whatever you saw so far, many things are waiting to be experienced.

This year birthday was supposedly the longest one of my life, for the wishes started coming in from the 0000hrs IST and lasted till the last minute of 0000 EST.

bloody week

What's happening with me?

ORKUT
What's new in new orkut, nothing new if you have an account in facebook. Miles to go compete with facebook. Anyways, all my excitement of getting the invitation for new orkut didn't live long.

FACEBOOK
Last week I tried some real stupid stuff to gain XP and coins in farmville. Tried all the hacks available on youtube and of course I gained 13000 XP points in one and half days time. Anyways I got bored of that and now I'm back to orthodox way of farming.

WEIGHT LOSING
Not much happened this week, but yeah found out something while shopping couple of days back. My waist size has come down to 32, was 38 five months back. Didn't get excited about that, losing wt isn't getting exciting anymore but still on this occasion I shelled out 99 bucks for the pair of jeans.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY WEEK
Hell yeah, this week of paranormal thingy started day after the Halloween day. My friend Divya calls me and starts talking about this movie called paranormal activity, she saw that on Halloween night and she got disturbed after watching that movie. She couldn't sleep all night and next day too. What's haunting about the movie is this is a horror movie which is not made in any big castle or big house having dozen rooms, this is made in small apt just like any other you see in your day to day life where you live, visit your friends place. So this creates a doubt in your mind that are we living with some else other than our friends? and then few more people tell me their scary experience about the movie. One fine night when I was damn sleepy, couldn't help fall asleep in the couch at my work place. I was sleeping in sitting position with my right hand providing the required cushioning for my head. I slept for more than 2 hrs in that position and finally when my mind alarm blew I tried to wake up, I couldn't open my eyes for some reason, I couldn't pull my hand down, I felt as if someone was holding my hands and to worsen my imagination I felt warm air on my hair as if someone was breathing right on my head.

My daughter - 2

Continued from here

Abhi was busy taking care of the guests and Puri was helping Bindu. Rest were glued to News channel worried about the CM who is missing since last night. The last point of contact with chopper was while flying over Nallamala forests and no one could contact them due to bad weather from that point. And my worry was how will my girl survive outside.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Bindu was visibly nervous since morning buzzing in and out of the room making sure she isn't forgetting anything. "Are you looking for something?" I asked her making her sit on my lap. "Yes, you..." she said giving me a peck, "I'm very nervous dad, I feel like not going anywhere... Shall I stay back?", "sure... I'll be more happy," I said with a smile.

"What's going on here between you two huh?" Puri came into the room with plate of curd rice, "you haven't eaten anything since morning". "I'm not hungry mom, I don't feel like eating," she got up from my lap and tried to escape from her mother. Abhi came from behind and caught her, I took the plate from Puri and fed Bindu and Abhi, even Abhi hasn't eaten anything all day he was taking care of things while I was with Bindu trying to the spend maximum amount of time I had.

First time when I took Bindu into my hands, my heart pounded, a sudden chill ran through my body. I watched her for hours when she was sleeping holding my finger with her little hand. Well, she's 21 already and ready to take off to a new world to pursue her dreams...

...to be continued

My daughter

The meaning of love changed as bindu was growing, from liking things around to liking a person. Today, she has grown up to make her own decision, that's how she grew up. For some reason abhi, my younger son wasn't like her, unsure of what he wants. Bindu said everything but abhi like a typical guy hid things from me, not that I was ignorant of his actions outside.

Everyone knew that I always wanted a girl and God blessed me with one, and Puri wanted a boy (thank God, you heard hers too... :D) . I have never seen Puri in irritating mood all these years, I always wondered how is that possible for a school teacher. But I'm little short-tempered having mood-swings, Puri never complained about it. My habit of hiding things has gone when Puri entered my life, I always thought that no one in this world would understand me but Puri proved me wrong. Even though I left smoking long ago, I still have an itch for an occasional fag which I fulfill in the restroom. And Puri makes me feel guilty by spraying air freshener in the restroom.

Bindu is leaving to US for further studies today. Her flight is at 8PM and the house was buzzing with guests who have come to give her a send off. I was sitting in her room looking into her album...

... to be continued

a moment..

It feels nice to wake up in the morning

have a smile on your face

if only life was just a moment,

I wish to stay in there forever...

the ville show on facebook!

Now it has become a part of life to allocate at least 2-3 hours for facebooking, not for keeping in touch with your friends but to take care of your virtual-farm, bakery, cafe, house, fishes so on... I'm talking about the games in the facebook that created by zynga, a company that specializes in social games for social networks including facebook, MySpace, iPhone, and Bebo.

Of all the games they developed farmville stands out the most addictive one in the whole lot. Farmville had just 354 users on June 20, the day after it launched. And today, it's widely believed to be the largest and fastest-growing social game ever. Farmville and Mafia Wars boasts more than 125 million monthly active users. Zynga Poker was their first social game, in July 2007. Its latest game, cafeworld, has zoomed to 10 million users in about a week.

My relation with Zynga started off with Poker, people accused me for jubilating on the virtual money I won. I remember playing that for one full semester before moving on to Mafia Wars, then Farmville, Yoville, and now cafeworld.

with you...

When I was with you,

sun, moon, rain,

all looked the same...

Long time no see...

It's been ages since I wrote something in here. I did start writing a new story I'm not ready, but I never came back to finish it. When I wanted to write the next episode "What's your rashee," movie pops up, ruining my story which has more or less similar kind of story. Anyways, the other day I happen to take a snap with cross legs pointing towards sky. Now, this was heights, because similar kind of pose is shown in the movie wake up s!d that's my mistake. When I upload the pic people ask me to come up with original ideas, hehe... what can I say except try to defend myself a bit and laugh at the coincidence.

Well, life has become real hectic these days, been working all seven days a week and then job search, project work, etc etc... The other day I drove over on to the pavement while parking, fell asleep driving ( I couldn't stop laughing at my friend's scared expression that day...). That's all from me...

I'm not ready - 1

continued from here...

"Jaaggu, get up you lazy bones... it's 10, I'm leaving to office... breakfast is ready on the dinning table, take bath and eat, and call me if you don't find anything... bye," I heard mom in my half-asleep state. I rolled over on my bed lazily and reached my mobile, it was 10:10 am. I took a minute to open my eyes properly and got up.

After taking bath I walked towards dinning table. I saw an envelope on the table, I served idlies in my plate and opened that envelope. It had photographs, all girls, homely, modernly, weirdly...ewww! I hate 'em all! I put 'em back into the envelope and had my breakfast at peace. Later, I called up my friends, bloody hell, everyone are busy at office and I was afraid to be on the hit list of the boredom now. This can't continue, I can't ruin my stay like this. I didn't know what should be done to end this boredom.

Mom came back from office at 6 in the evening. She went straight towards the dinning table to check what did I eat for breakfast and lunch, "Jaggu, what's this you ate only 3 idlies since morning?" , "I didn't feel like eating... anyways, what's that envelope thing?" I asked. "Photos, did you check them out?", "Mom... I said I don't wanna get married, not at least for 3 more yrs...". Mom said, "Right, by then no one will come forward to marry an old man... and one more thing, that envelope has 8 pics and before you go back I have to know whom you gonna marry, if you don't like those 8 there are 3 more envelopes to be opened... you have no option but to select one from those pics..." , "Mom, you kidding me... I'm not gonna do that..." . Dad made his entry while this was happening... "Jagdeesh, you should be thankful that I allowed your mom to get your opinion, I already gave my word to couple of them, so I need to know your choice before leaving otherwise your engagement with a random girl is for sure by then..."

I pitied myself for being in this situation, if only I had a girlfriend I wouldn't have been here. I smoked one full box of Marlboro's on the terrace all night thinking. Next day morning, I got a brilliant idea of escapism, I went to the hall and announced my decision while other members of my family were having breakfast, "well, I will do whatever you guys want but there's one thing I wanna ensure that which ever girl I choose should match my tastes by at least 60 percent and I wanna meet each girl personally not in front of her parents but somewhere outside in a restaurant of some coffee shop. If you guys are okay with this, then I'm ready..." . Mom and Dad whispered something within themselves and nodded their head... Yippy! the official dating spree is on!

...to be continued

a wish...

Nothing comes to my mind

when I look into your eyes,

the thousand words you speak thru 'em.

you are the beauty within my heart,

and life of my soul.

I wish this moment never dies...

I'm not ready

Hi, I'm jags aka Jagdeesh. I'm twenty six and half, project manager in a construction company. I have come to US four years back, did my MS in Industrial Engineering and now doing a job here.

My parents and my younger sister are back in India busy looking matches for me. According to them I'm a settled person and should get married now. But I'm not ready for that, I told them this many times but they ask for a reason. I gave them N number of reasons, now I ran out of them.

I have my own reasons to stay away from getting married, can say I have inferiority complex of marrying the person whom I donno , that's one reason, I also have many more reasons.

Well, I have taken leave for three weeks for a vacation to India after two years, not for getting married but to meet my parents and sis and also a special person...

story begins soon...

Datingsutra

At around one in the night, while I was on phone, I find a book in my room. "Dating fundas for Guys and Girls" by Chaya Srivatsa, at the first sight of it I started laughing thinking who could have bought this book. Anyways, I was bored so thought of checking how different are the fundas from the fundas I learnt all these years.

Well, I'm not gonna discuss each and every fundas given in that book, only the ones which I feel that everyone should know is discussed here...

"Don't let a chilling silence creep in", that sounds perfect isn't it? well, generally at these kinda dating situations you tend to become numb as you donno what to talk and on which topic. Hang on, politics, religion and gender issues shouldn't be a part of your discussion, thank you that will end your so-called date in no time. So, talk crap but talk, movies, food, books, anything except those prohibited topics and don't be rude and also pay attention what the other has to say (courtesy dude...)

"Choose someone who is intellectually compatible", this one is my fav., now I don't wanna spend the evening with a decorative doll with nice make up and lipstick rather than brains!

"Avoid a proxy approach of sending word thru' a common friend", this reminds me of the errands in old movies who gets sandwiched between 'em passing love notes. Be a man dude, say to her whatever comes to your mind, but be cautious on what you gonna say.

"A date is not a counseling couch so don't advise each other", hahhaa... can't stop laughing my ass out. Anyone out there has this experience? [:P]. It's funny man...

"Get your knowledge levels up. Be up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers", this is even funnier, hahaha.... as if this guy/gal is going to an interview rather than to a date. But, you never know, can't take chances you see, this one suits for someone like "beauty with brains" and you don't wanna lose her.

Here comes the interesting topic of the entire book, my the fav. one, "What girls want"

- bring her flowers

- look her in the eyes and smile

- if you're in love with her... tell her

- if you say you're going to call DO IT!

- Don't be JEALOUS (this one is damn important... )

- Be yourself

Those are few which I felt were key ones.

Girls this one is for you, "What guys want from girls"

- Don't expect him to read you mind and keep guessing

- Don't get into arguments over trivial issues

- Don't throw tantrums and act hysterical

That's it, rest are predictable, that we like sports, run away from getting married so on...

Last and very important point, don't be possessive, this will become fatal in your relationships..

The Unplanned exciting day!

What's the date?... it's May 30th, 2009, the day which I'm treasuring, here in this blogsville, forever.

I returned from my grandma's town after attending my cousin's engagement at around one in the night. I woke up at eight as I had an appointment with a company which asked me to come down to discuss about my internship. I and my friend Raghu went there, after finishing my work we met Raghu's cousin and his friend there. Raghu's cousin was attending the interview, after the interview we thought of going somewhere as we had nothing to do in the later part of the day.

We zoomed our car breaking traffic rules under the nose of the traffic police to PVR multiplex and booked tickets for two movies, one at 2:30PM and other was at 10:15PM. First movie, Vishal's Pista, was a headache movie to worsen that we got our seats in the first row. I tried to better the situation by observing the activities of the girls in our row though we were separated by a seat number. After the movie we decided to walk to GVK Mall which was 2 Kms away to eat at KFC. After filling ourselves we did window shopping there for more than an hour to beat the heat and also to kill the time. Then we walked to every shopping center for a/c on our way back to PVR. In between these activities Raghu's cousin and his friend whom I never met, talked as if we knew each other from our childhood, we became nice friends.

Then the final segment of our unplanned day, second movie Prayanam -  a love story in the airport. Right from the first frame of the movie we started laughing, we didn't expect the movie to be a laugh riot. We didn't move  from our seats fearing that we might miss the starting scene of the interval. As the clock was ticking we prayed that movie shouldn't end. Anyways movie ended on happier note, the first song and the background score had such high bass that we felt we were on a dance floor. 

At around 1:30 AM in the night we had late night biryani at Charminar. Finally reached home at 2:30 AM after good 14 and 1/2 hrs. I enjoyed to the core today...

updates...

Creative writing is damn difficult anytime, you can't do that regularly unless you feel that you have all time in the world to do so. That's been the case with me these days, not that I'm busy with my course work but been busy with many things around me. 

Anyways, next week will be final week of the semester, and so have to bury my head into the books now. And a bunch of my friends have their grad walk later next week, so big party is up very soon. And after all that have to start vacating room, pack the bags, board the flight and finally land in India after good 15 months and 11 days.

A handful 82 days in India is what I will be looking forward now, and the scorching summer too. I'm eagerly waiting to rejuvenate my taste buds which have gone bland all these months in US of A.

And, finally after lots of criticism from my friends about growing long hair ended up having a haircut last week to look like a school boy...

PS: image is deceptive [:D]

it'll never be same again...

It's not about winning, even losing sometimes is fun, and sometimes narrating your losing is satisfying. People change and even the person whom you think you know the most also change, it hurts to let 'em go, all you have is the fond memories, at least this will not change. Letting go isn't winning or losing, of course emptiness will hurt you. Letting go is courage to accept the change, it is growing up.

How can you know what love is if you've never been hurt once. Love should have been a decision rather than a feeling, because feeling are deceptive in nature and they don't last for long.

You are one of my nicest thoughts...

Tagged

Got tagged after ages, I got tagged by two bloggies Zany and Carpe Diem,

Rules:

1) Put your iTunes or any other media player on Shuffle...

2)For each question, forward to next track to answer the question...

3) Write down the track title, it might be a silly one...

4) Tag other poor souls...

a) If someone asks you "are you okay?" you say:

Loose yourself  (Eminem)

b) How would you describe yourself?

Jai Ho? (Slum dog M)

c) What do you like in a girl/guy?

Ajnabi Shehar (Jaan-e-mann)

d) How do you feel today?

Lovesick (Elize)

e) What's your life purpose?

Singing Dam Di Da Doo (Eyeopener)

f) What's your motto?

My happy ending (Avril  Lavigne)

g) What do your friends feel about you?

A never ending dream (cascada)

h) What do your parents feel about you?

Ass like that (Eminem)

i) What do you think of often?

Jumping all over the world (Scooter)

j) What is 2+2?

fuck it (Eamon)

k) What do you think of your best friend?

behind these hazel eyes (Kelly Clarkson)

l) What is your life story?

doesn't matter ( Hypasonic)

m) What do you want to be when you grow up?

mohabbat apse ( Aa Dekhe Zara)

n) what do you think when you come across the person you like most?

my sacrifice (creed)

o) what will you dance to at you wedding?

sexy naughty bitchy me (Lene Alexandra)

p) what will they play at your funeral ?

insomnia (Craig David)

q) what is your hobby?

sutta na milaa (Zeest)

r) what is your biggest fear?

beautiful life (Ace of base)

s) what is your biggest secret?

love in the club (Usher)

t) what do you want right now?

all the things she said (Tatu)

u) what do you think of your friends?

Last goodbye (Avenue)

v) when you rush into the washroom, what do you think?

sab khairiyath hai (13B)

w) The person you hate the most is in front of you, what will you tell to that person?

another day in paradise (Phil Collins)

x) you have just won a lottery, what will you sing?

beautiful thing ( Soulcast)

y) What will you post this as?

Shake that ass girl (50cent)

I'm done, now Sajesh and Sindhu will do the tag...

Spring break

We pre-planned many things for spring break but none were executed. We planned to go California for spring break, but very few have come forward for that trip. So, no California, I felt bad that I will not be able to visit California. California, I can definitely say that it's my second home after India. Anyways, then we thought of Colorado springs, and many have okied for this trip. But we couldn't plan for that because of lack of communication among us. So, no Colorado too. 

One of my roomie saw a super deal in hertz for car rentals, 60 bucks for 2 days, now that was a sexy deal. So, he rented the car and we haven't decided anything yet. That night we went to Indie dancers (strip bar), that was day one. Day two, we started playing PlayStation, bought 6 controllers and there we go. We never moved from our chairs playing PlayStation. Day three, we decided to go snowboarding somewhere near Chicago. After that we went to Go-karting, then Industrial strip bar and back to our apt. 

Even though we couldn't do much in the spring break but we got the much needed break from our off-campus jobs, esply me. I didn't want to take a break but eventually ended up taking break for 5 days, it was a welcome one for me. 

I'm waiting for May 13 to catch my flight to India, only two more months minus 2 days to go. I can't wait for that day anymore. In the meanwhile I have to get back into the groove of routine life. 

So, its time to get back to work...

Words...

Words dominate everything, we use 'em up to express for what we wanna say. For our deepest feelings that we depress doesn't come out that way, the exact way we wanted to express. And in a blink there's always a misinterpretation ambushing. Understanding the words that's not meant to be, the bitterly twisted ones, the meanings which get lost in a flash, never gonna be easy. Words are murderous, they will for sure cut deep into you. 

Better think more than twice before using 'em, for now and forever. Because the words that has been spoken out loud can never be undone...

you...

That one smile was enough to show,

 how beautiful the life is with you

 and without you, 

I smiled back.