Dec 1, 2007

No commitments please! part 5





continued from here...

Germany made me feel nervous. When I went to S'pore I wasn't that nervous then. May be the age factor, I have become a responsible adult and this feeling made me feel lonely. Initially I had problem in acclimatizing but as the days passed I got settled down. New people, new friends, new neighbors, even I started boozing now. My first cocktail was "sex in beach" and then "long island", I started drinking beer like water.
The weather was always warm mainly but one day while coming back from my work place and all of sudden I was standing in the snowfall, ah! awesome was the word. It was only in movies I saw snowfall but now I'm standing in the snowfall! I wished neelima was here with me at this moment. I missed her badly. We haven't been in touch for ages, no phone call, no mail nothing. We took each other for granted. But then I wasn't having much time to think other than my research work. It was very slow progressing one, takes months at times to see some progress into it.

Staying in room with new people, they were of all kind, selfish, unselfish. But I learnt one thing never rely on anyone, it's all you who's gonna help. I started knowing myself better now, saw the untamed world around me waiting to conquer me and destroy. I became kinda indifferent by nature, not bothered of what's happening around, all I bothered was me. Can't even remember when was the last I talked to dad, mom and poo. Poo used to send mails and I hardly replied a couple of them. And no mail from Neelima, I thought of mailing one to her to know what's up with her. But felt weird to mail one, don't know why, just took her for granted and thought she was doing fine and so she would have mailed me if something was wrong. Not that I didn't mail any, mailed her couple of times but I didn't receive one reply for those mails.

It was on the new year day I decided to make a call to her.

"Hello, neelima?"
"Prasad?"
"yea, how are you?"
"I'm fine, and how are you?"
"I'm ok, hey did you get my mails? I never received any reply for those..."
"Ahh... I forgot to tell you, my ID got deleted, it's not active anymore... and I didnt have your email ID, I never memorised that...so.."
"oh ok, anyways did you create one?"
"yea...neelima_34@hotmail.com"
"ok... hey happy new year maam"
"thanks and wish you the same sir, so how are celebrating the eve?"
"well, with chivasregal..."
"who? you colleague huh?"
"hehehe...that's a hard drink neelu..."
"When have you started this ?"
"hey chill, just couple of pegs, it's very cold out here and right now I'm standing in the snowfall..."
"hmm... I hope you are telling truth to me..."
"oh cmon now, jus 2 pegs that's, jus to taste that's it..."
"ok ok , your wish, just take care of yourself..."
"yes maam"
"hey prasad, your mom n dad have come to my house. I have to go....bye..."
"oh! is it, give them the mobile I'll talk to them ..."
"good joke! ok then I'm hanging up the phone..."
"ok ok, love you, bye.."
"love you too, bye.."

After I hung up the phone I felt too bad of me for the first time. I thought she wasn't bothering about me, but there she had a problem in contacting me, I'm sitting here instead of calling her and asking how was she... I felt happy after talking to her... everything seemed normal again... felt like I smiled after good one year and the effect was there because of that, my cheeks were paining...

As summer was approaching and my research work was running at a snail pace, saw hardly any developements so I kept myself busy with paper presentations. One day I got call from dad...
"hello prasad, how are you?"
"I'm fine dad, how are you, mom n poo?"
"All are good prasad, prasad I thought of asking if you could come to India for couple of weeks, we want to see you prasad...."
"I too want to come, I need a break.... ok dad, I'll do one thing, I'll check out if my batch mate can take up my work too for couple of weeks..."
"Ok prasad, let me know when are going to come..."
"ok dad..."
"ok prasad, take care, bye..."
"bye dad.."

After that call, I couldn't wait for to go home. Took off from the lab for the day and went back to room...

I have shifted to new flat with Avinash last week, just two blocks away from the lab, my batch mate who just joined couple of months back. I told him the situation he readily agreed to cover up for me. Luckily my professor was going to Canada for a paper presentation there, he wasn't going to come back for a month and the developments of my work was hardly showing any improvements. These little things cleared all my tensions and I booked a flight ticket for next week.



........to be continued

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